We made the crazy decision to spend the rest of our lives with someone we had only known less than three months!
There is no right or wrong way to get married. But every "I do" has a unique story, some just aren't as traditional. Ours may not be considered traditional because we hadn't known one another for long before he popped the question. But this is how it went.....
We met April 2017 (you can read about it here). We both had been in previous marriages for about ten years, that did not go well for us. We were looking for something different, something that we lacked in our relationships, something neither one of us had before.
Fast forward to June 22.
It was my 30th birthday, and we only had been dating for almost 3 three months. Jarad advised me to wear something dressy for what he had planned. So I did my hair, makeup, and put on a nice black dress. He was dressed in a blue button down dress shirt, only making his eyes bluer, with a silver tie and black slacks. He cleaned up so good. He had surprised me by taking me to one of my favorite restaurants, The Melting Pot, in Oklahoma City (almost a 2 hour drive) for dinner.
When we arrived, hidden in a low lit corner, was a table covered in rose petals, candles, and a card from the staff wishing me a happy birthday. I was shocked. We ordered drinks and spent the next hour in great conversation, laughter, and devouring the delicious fondue. It seriously was the most romantic and amazing birthday I have ever had.
Then we headed to our favorite local coffeshop, Frank & Joe's in Wichita Falls, where we had our first date. There is where he bent down on one knee and spilled beautiful words out and asked "Will you marry me?".
It wasn't even a question. I knew in my heart, in my mind, and every part of my body that he was the one. Of course, "YES!", was the answer! Over joyed, we shared the news hours later. Many were hesitant, asking if it was too soon. Some begging us to wait and give it time. Some completely happy for us and congratulated us.
I understood the concern. It hadn't been a full three months of knowing one another before we knew we wanted to get married and be together forever. But when is the right time? When you know, you just know.
This is why I said yes.
First time I truly knew he was the one, was when he was spending time with my children. My kids completely gravitated towards him. My oldest, whom isn't the touchy feely child. Sat next to Jarad on the couch during a movie, and snuggled up on his lap with Jarad's arms wrapped around him. That said wonders. My children began asking about him all the time and were looking forward to seeing him. He always showed them attention, not to impress me, but because he truly enjoyed being around them. He started bringing over puzzles and games specifically to play with them. That showed me he truly cared for my children.
At the time of us dating, Jarad was in the Army and about to get out. We lived an hour apart from each other. He would drive to and from my place to get to work. And even when he did, I would come home from work and he would be making the kids and I dinner. The man was a hundred percent set on spending his free time with me and the kids and I was not at all going to complain! lol.
He was not my normal. I know that sounds weird, right? Everyone has a type they tend to go for. Mine was the dark hair, tattooed, tan skin, out-going personality with brown eyes. My "type" were all the center of attention guys, also known as extroverts. I actually never realized I had a particular type until I met Jarad and he started pointing it out. Jarad was different. He is my blue eyed introvert. He is more of a homebody, but he can easily blend with the extroverts as well. It's like the best of both worlds. I told myself before I met him, I couldn't continue being with the same type of men because in the long run, I was the one ending up hurt. Well, that's when God sent Jarad to me, I guess he figured it was time that I realized that. Hahaha.
He truly cares about me. I have never had anyone that was so genuinely caring and accepting. He strives to always make sure I am happy and if something is wrong, he wants to make it better. It truly does come from his heart. Many people will say they care, but his words are truly coming from his heart. I see it when I look at him. He always is so very caring.
Communication. He is so great at wanting to communicate about everything. It is refreshing. He always lets me know his feelings about me (all day everyday) which I love! He is not afraid to tell me if something is bothering him, so we can work it out.
Even though it was less than 3 months when we got engaged, it felt like our souls had known one another for a lifetime. It was the feeling of "just knowing".
I told him things I have never told anyone ever and he loved me for it. I could tell him anything and everything and with being a person with trust issues, this says wonders.
He is not a drinker. This has always been an issue for me in the past. I love the fact that Jarad is not a drinker, it is just not who he is. In the past year or so, I have not really been much of one either. So it's something neither one of us have to worry about.
Our countless amounts of things in common. Seriously.. there are like 400 things we have in common! So not kidding on this. I honestly could keep going with this list, but you would be here for a very long time reading it. lol. You get the point. He is my match. We seriously are perfect for one another in every way.
We didn't date for a year plus before he popped the question. We did not spend months after our engagement planning on the perfect lavish wedding. We did not celebrate with bachelor and bachelorette parties, because well.. we do not feel like we needed to. We did not spend a week or two in a tropical paradise for a honeymoon. Yes, our relationship may not have your typical timeline of milestones or a "traditional" way of getting married, but that is perfectly good with us. If you did, then I happy for you! Truly. However, for us, it is not about all the glitz and glam. We knew we just wanted to spend the rest of our lives together and we wanted a small intimate wedding. We did not need more than that. We knew by doing this people would be judgmental, some may even take bets on how long we would last, or think we were crazy for "moving too fast". But it wasn't about the world, it was about the two of us.
I tell you though, we are four months into our marriage, and it truly was the best decision we ever made. We are closer than ever and love each other immeasurably. We have only grown closer together, if that was even possible. I can honestly say we have a kick ass marriage and I have a kick ass husband that I am so proud of and honored to call mine. I am so blessed to have this amazing man and step father to my children by my side every day for the rest of our lives. To many adventures and new things to knock off our bucket lists babe! I would say "YES!" a billion and one more times to you my love.
If you truly love someone, you do not always have to do what the rest of the world wants or expects you to do. Marry who your heart desires. When you know, you just know. Follow your instinct. I know I did and I could not be any happier.