Raw unspoken words finally spoken.

I was seven years old when I came across my first typewriter. My mom had taken my brother and I to a local thrift store to get a few items. There I wondered up and down the aisles while she looked around. There in front of me was a beautiful but aged black typewriter. I had never actually seen one before, only in the movies. I stared at it. Fascinated. I slowly pressed on one of the keys and heard it chime. That was the moment I fell in love. The sound of that chiming as words flow out of you into the keys. The movement that danced from the keys as it moves the paper. The smell of the ink on the paper. 

As you can see from having this blog, writing is a passion of mine. Since I was about nine years old, I have been writing in some kind of form. At nine, I started keeping a diary. I wrote in it nearly every day. In high school, I began writing poems. I remember writing one for 9/11 (have no idea where that poem went) that my teacher requested for me to read over the loud speaker of the entire school. (Talk about anxiety attack!) It was not until my first marriage that I really truly began writing seriously. I kept many journals, that I still have to this day, of everything I was going through. All the good and all the bad. Writing was my outlet. It helped get my feelings out there. All the unspoken words that were never spoken. Everything I wanted to say. Everything I felt. It was my story. My life. Everyday in the rawest form. It contained not only just my feelings, but original poems, lyrics and sketches. I knew if anyone actually read it, they would feel everything I felt in those moments. They would truly understand who I was. Why I am the way that I am. It was the eye into the deepest parts of my soul.

After my divorce, everything came pouring out just as much. Then I met Jarad. In the early stages of dating, I felt comfortable with him. Yet, he knew apart of me still had a wall built around my heart. There were still parts of who I was that I kept guarded. He knew why. However, being the amazing man he is, he wanted to not just know the reason but truly understand it. That is what sets him apart from anyone i have ever come across. No one truly wanted to understand who I was/am, he did. One day, he was over spending the day with me and I walked up to him handing him my journal. I was ready for him to truly understand. I wanted him to break down those walls. It was because he built such a huge level of trust, that I truly trusted him in knowing and understanding. Not just with who I am, but also with my heart. I was handing him the key to it all.

He read it. It took a few days, which I understood. It was a lot. Not reading wise, but emotionally. There in that moment when he handed it back. He hugged me. No words had to be spoken, I knew he finally truly understood everything about me. There in that moment I sank in his arms and I truly felt like my heart was safe. It was a relief. 

Since then, Jarad has encouraged me and pushed me with tremendous love and support to pursue my writing. I began with making a Facebook page. Recently, I started an Instagram page as well to get more followers for my writing. I am proud to say that has really been my break through. Currently, I am writing a series that will contain three books. They are just about complete, as I just finished designing all three book covers for them.  I am hoping to have them published and ready to purchase next month. No official date just yet, but one will be coming soon! All three books are extremely personal. The writings are everything I have gone through throughout my entire life. All the good. All the bad. The ups. The downs. Everything in between. Many from the very journal I kept closed off from every one. They are my deepest and rawest thoughts and emotions. 

Please keep a look out for an announcement on the launch of my book. Again, thank you for all the love and support, especially to my husband.